so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
