yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
