Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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