there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize