Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
