Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
