Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
