Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
