it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
