im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
only you would photoshop your dick
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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