i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
