You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
