Your tits are I can't wait for
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
