White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
