The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
