ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
