Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
