That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
they're like a gay fantastic four
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
