I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize