I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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