the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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