ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize