yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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