I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
