ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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