so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
