sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
