the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
