Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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