We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
