Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My dick has a subreddit
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
