I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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