Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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