I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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