i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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