Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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