saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
