Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize