If i could tip my vagina, i would.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
