If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
How naked do you want me to be?
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