Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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