I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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