I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
