At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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