aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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