i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize