is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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