I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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