There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
