You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
