They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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