it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize