I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
