I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
