btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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