Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
