Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize
