keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
