He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
