party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
