it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
