i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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