Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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