I seem to have left my pride at pride
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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