My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
