i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
