This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
