it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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