you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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